Broken Dreamer learning grace.

I am a dreamer. If you know me well, you have probably seen me light up talking about a dream for others or my own future of what we could do for the Kingdom. My dreams have walked through the wilderness. Tasted glimpses of God's beauty and provision. Of what comes alive when community believes in you and sees beyond the potential you can see.

But my dreams have also experienced brokeness (anyone relate?). I have realized some people just do not care and others ready to throw rocks at it. It is easy for the cynical thoughts to come through and the lies that are always close by whispering "you're not good enough", "it is too difficult", "stop bothering people", "suck it up"  and countless others. These lies try to keep us isolated. They keep us from trusting God is able. That God is good.

There are many ideas and dreams that have not happened and lessons learned where I realize later it was better that way.  We do need to trust that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). 

However, we need to not let the Enemy keep stealing the dreams and sit in the lies of "safety". It is hard to risk being known and vulnerable, to entrust to others your heart and dreams.  I am not saying that every idea we have or dream will instantly happen and that it is God's plan. But the dreams that God has instilled in us, the true desires of our heart- they need to be awakened and cultivated. They need to have someone believe in them too. 

There is no way we can do this alone. I am thankful for the many people who have helped me become who I am today. The ones who have sat with me crying because I did not believe I could, but they chose to speak truth to me, for they saw beyond my own potential. I have also experienced the hurt of the lies that are easier to listen to; But the truth is greater. Please listen to that. 

I am writing this to myself because it is a lesson I constantly need reminding of. I need to be reminded of what comes alive when others believe in you. To be very honest, this is a struggle right now. Though I am excited for this next step to join YouthHOPE, I cannot do it alone. If others do not believe in it as well and want to partner with me, it will fail. It will never happen. If the local church does not believe in missions, we will not send. We can not go. 

Many moments feel risky. The vulnerability of asking for help, I do not like. But it is needed and more beautiful than what one person could ever dream of accomplishing on their own. If it was not for already experiencing people who believed in me, I would not be where I am today. And I need this to keep going. 

So I am asking, will you dream bigger dreams for the Kingdom and stop believing the lies yourself? Can we speak truth into each other? And cultivate belief, not unbelief. 

One person can not rescue every child from the bondage of trafficking, but what if we could help go love that one, then bring more people along to love another? Do not let issues too big for us stop us from doing anything. We can not send everybody, but we can maybe send that one. We can believe in the others right next to us and speak life to each other.