Be weak and just follow with willingness and trust..

So I have amazing people in my life that challenge me to allow myself to be weak. However, I am dumb. This week I have opportunities for that and what do I do- withdraw. I do not want to be transparent when it's hard. I don't want to have attachments. I want to be free, but where my dumbness tries to take me is not freedom. I don't want to need support. However, God is faithful. I asked my pastor/former youth pastor what he saw in me when I was in sixth grade, why did he invest so much time encouraging and challenging me to be a woman of God? When most would not see what he did. He said I had the willingness. I do not want to lose that. Willingness to go and courage to stay is what I need. There is so much unknown and gray areas in my life. But God is faithful, knows what's best and promises that He who began a good work in me will continue to carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (phil.1:6)