Today I went rock climbing (at a gym, since I'm in Florida) and though was fun, especially to hang out with the people I went with, it was also terrible and reminds me of so many fears and frustrations.. Let me try my best to explain my random cra-cra thoughts...
My first major exposure to adventure was OLD School (week-long and semester). I have a love/hate relationship with adventure in the outdoors. I feel like a major fat girl sometimes, a diva the next moment, wanting to cuss, cry, scream, but then (usually towards the end), I LOVE it! Let's not lie, I usually like the results: the stories you have, the experience, and accomplishment you feel. These results are not usually ever seen from outsiders though so why do I care what people think? Yes, I can try my best to explain the crazy stories and different accomplishments, but really that is not what it is. It is me embracing the weakness and experiencing benefits of community and God's provision. It is the inside jokes and how people get to know you without distractions and as many guards up. It is having no where to hide but one choice to keep on keepin' on! You can think you want to quit half-way in, but what are you going to do, just sit out there and whine? Or are you going to get your butt up and head to top of that mountain. There is always a better view up there where we can get the better perspective of the purpose of the valley.
Every time before a major wilderness trip or outing, I usually freak out a bit and wonder what I'm getting myself into. Part of me is excited, and part of me is like really, I can just stay here in the known comfort. This relates so much to my relationship with God. Every time I feel him calling me to the next step of the grand adventure, I freak out. I can only think of my weaknesses. All that could go wrong, etc. Not all hikes are easy, it is usually the hardest ones that bring better stories. I mean what is a story without conflict anyway? And no one wants a story where you hide from the conflict but where you embrace it and conquer it. The only difference here with me is I constantly am reminded that I can not conquer it on my own, I need Christ. I need His strength, His purpose, His provision, and peace. Not my own will but His. I need to surrender control and let him lead.
I am preparing to join YouthHope soon (simply in application process). Reaching youth globally is my calling and I cannot run from it. Whether it is to the girls stuck in brothels, youth in poverty, or awareness and encouragement to the youth here in the States- This all encompasses where I want to be a part of helping. I do not have to be defined to one particular cause to define my identity, this is simply the next step. Whether it is using the adventure tools, ministry education, or experience working with at-risk youth, or even my own weaknesses and failures- It all can be used if I surrender and trust. God made a promise that He who began the good work will carry it unto completion. (Philippians 1:9)
This is where I have peace. But this is where you come in- I need you to remind me of this- tell me when I need to stop being dumb, remind me trust God to be God. You can also partner with me in ministry. That is needed to. I cannot do this alone. I need the Church, we need each other. There are many ways to do this. Let me know if you are interested. More updates to come.
